And his calloused fingers caught my attention. The rough cracked edges bleeding music like a charm, the deep voice losing those high notes, but shaking emotions into me when ringing low.
I could shake my head and learn wonderful new things.
Did his eyes stray? I did not notice. I am in deep deep trouble of getting an impossible to fulfil crush. Of idolizing, my thoughts stuck on someone I do not know and cannot have.
At the same time it would be so fun, to platonically play music. Maybe sometime I will see him again.
I dreamt of him, and in sleep his fingers did twine around me. Impossible, and not fair, so not fair. Not fair to him. I might be able to get him, but there would be too many tangles, much much too many.
Where can my dreams go? My passions? I love the beautiful highs they give me, but when I realize how unattainable it is I know I will crash. I want to build on this manic energy and feed it. Instead I step back and look at my world. It is all stories, writing, dreams.
I need to find someone who can be these dreams, but I don't think I can. Expectations too high, I don't even know everything I want. I desire, I need. What I need is to be able to love someone, but I just can't. Not yet.
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