I may feel at home here

The building isn't large and it's filled to the brim with people.
Voices, of course, pound your ears, and your senses are overwhelmed:
a sea of humans, young adults and old, so many faces
cigarette smoke, which is always there, whether faint or making its presence well known
and the music, just a placeholder, really, until the real show starts.
Then it begins, after you think it never will--lights dimmed, a little clapping, bodies crowding around, getting closer, willing to damage their hearing for some fun.
And there're the guys and girls who get right up close to the speakers, and you wonder if they're insane. Or maybe lucky.
And once the music starts, what a feeling of belonging you get, of moving to the rhythms, in unison with those around you. Nothing else seems to matter--the drinks, the friends, the backstabbers, last weekend, the traffic, homework--as long as you are here, now.
Personal space doesn't exist for this short time, and you realize it's okay to dance in a crowd. No one will look at you weird--they're too busy doing the same thing.

If I Could Say Goodbye

We were only supposed to have a moment,
yet, it stretched on so much longer.
The way that I felt, so much fun and desire.
I could not give it up.
Love grew, strengthened by each touch, each song, each day.
We had picnics, and walked through gardens,
but mostly stayed in your room.
Our heat lit and led each moment,
our bodies said all that we needed to say.
Yet,
when does love grow tired?
When did we learn that this wasn't enough?
Was it a kiss that didn't feel quite right?
It could have been a word said in passing.
Maybe it was simply that we tried too hard.
I held on too long,
wanting a dream you were unable to provide.
I am in love with you,
and will always have been in love with you.
Keeping your memories will be my pleasure.
I look forward to remembering,
and hope you do as well.

Some Thoughts on Lovers

To have someone is a big responsibility. To every day decide to love them, until you forget, and panic, wonder how to fall in love again.
How much meaning can be put on kisses?
I wish I could love whole and beautiful, for years at a time,
but there are moments when I get swept up and taken away.
Caught in the way someone else caresses me, in the way work can consume, and time can chew on moments.
Fucking in silence is like realizing you aren't breathing.
Can there be love here? Is this much too noxious?
Tomorrow I will see him,
to see if I can keep loving.
Is this possible?