Calm

Night contains me, helps hold back my tears.
I can feel the sky pressing, trying to remind me.
Day will break the dam, peerless blue just like it was before.
Never changing, always flowing.
I wander up the carpeted stairs, duck my head below the familiar ceiling.
Sobs generate heat, fill the dulled room with half raging sound.
If I could show this to the world, inflict their ears with this pain, then maybe someone would understand me. No, there are multitudes who could know, but I won’t--I don’t--let them.
Instead I carefully feed my hurt.
I picture her suicide attempt, berate myself for every little thing, pity how lonely I feel.
I could step into the morning sky, it’s frantic colors. I could weep for hours.
But night returns, and with it, calm.